Saturday, August 10, 2013

Catching glimpses of heaven

     Lately, I have been pondering the experiences I have had where I have been blessed to feel Zach's presence.  Until he died, I don't think I ever really understood what heaven held in store for us.  Since he has passed, I have caught glimpses of heaven.  I suppose one of the blessings of having a loved one on the other side is the sudden knowledge that heaven is real, and that the spirits of those who have passed on do in fact continue to exist.  I feel like I need to share what it feels like.  I have come to realize what a unique feeling and experience it is.
     The first time I felt Zach near me was at the beach this time last year.  I had been feeling really sad because being at the beach was just not the same without him.  I was standing on the shoreline, enjoying the beauty of the setting sun, when suddenly this incredibly warm feeling came over me, almost like a tangible hug.  I felt love, peace, and comfort.  I felt that someone--Zach--was there.  I could have stayed there forever, relishing this feeling.  Just as surely as I knew he was there, I felt when he was gone.
     The next time this happened to me was when I was driving down to St. George back in April.  The song "I Drive Your Truck" by Lee Brice came on the radio.  The first time I had ever heard this song, I immediately thought of Zach and the ways I tried to remember him.  After all, it is about someone losing their brother.  The moment this song came on, I felt this warmth come over me.  Again, it felt like love, and it was so peaceful.  I felt like the sun was warmer and brighter all of a sudden.  It stayed with me throughout the entire song, and I felt like Zach was telling me that this was 'our song.'  As soon as the song ended, the feeling was gone, and I knew he had left.  But it was so special.  The fact that I felt so different from when it started to when it ended told me that he truly had been there.
     Today I was blessed with another sweet experience.  I briefly shared the fact that Zach had died with a friend, and as usual, it brought the sadness I try to keep buried deep down, up to the surface.  As I was driving home, 'our song' (I Drive Your Truck) came on the radio, and I immediately felt comforted and like I was surrounded by Zach's presence.  Then, almost as another tender mercy, immediately after that song ended, Carrie Underwood's "See You Again" came on the radio.  I felt like Zach was trying to tell me that he was with me and reminding me that we will see each other again someday.
     There is such a unique feeling associated with feeling the presence of someone beyond the veil.  I am so grateful that I have been blessed with these experiences and that I can with confidence say that I know heaven is real, and that our loved ones do live on.  This life is not the end.  I am grateful to Zach for continuing to be a presence in my life as well.  I love you buddy!

1 comment: